Some of you might believe in fate or the perfect timing. You might think things are just “good luck” or slightly magical.🧐

And while I’m not exactly in that camp, I do find it rather serendipitous that I have a library full of “books of the woo persuasion.”

In fact, in my sudden and insatiable craving for reading, I’ve been grateful more than once that I kept a little book called “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment” – a tome left over from my grandmother’s days. It’s literally a handbook on how to have a good trip on LSD. LOL.

But that’s not the book I want to quote for you today. The one I’m thinking of was a gift from my former BFF – she must have mailed it to me well before I graduated from college because I remember carrying it around, unread, in my lavender backpack.

And finally, this week I was like, “YES this is a good time to read it!” As it turns out, it IS a good time to read it since I devoured the following paragraphs and realized that it wasn’t just me who needs to hear it. It’s you, too!

If you’re anything like me, here’s the section that will hit you like a freight train on a Sunday afternoon:

“Everyone undergoes castrating traumatic experiences as a result of energetic dependence on other people, other people’s ignorance and domination, and the basic fear of death. The left brain’s inability to tolerate pain has caused it to become a monstrous being that lacks the ability to feel any emotion, be it pain or love.

In order not to feel pain, the monster dulls its senses, and the price it pays for that is the inability to love.

The relationship between two monsters

Every time the monster meets a person who is suffering and identifies him as a wounded being like itself, that is, a being that reflects its mental wounds as if in a mirror, the monster recalls the wounds from which it detached itself so carefully.

The moment the monster encounters the person it has identified as a wounded being that has developed less monstrous traits, the monster attacks the wounded person instinctively in order not to remember and feel its own terrible, unbearable wounds.

In the encounter with the monster the less wounded person must not betray weakness or pain, since this reminds the monster of its own severe injury, and the person risks being violently attacked by it.

A person who suffers from physical and mental pain and broadcasts his pain/weakness in the presence of the monster, risks an immediate frontal attack. The function of the attack is to castrate the person’s feelings of suffering so that he will no longer threaten the monster with a renewed experience of its pain.

The monster’s pain is unbearable, so it will not tolerate any expression of pain or weakness in other people it encounters. For this reason, anyone who wants to remain a human being by feeling the entire range of his emotions, including pain, is well advised to keep far away from the monster, which constitutes a threat to his humanity/ability to feel.”

Mirror Therapy by Limor Zohar

As I was explaining to LP the process of monster creation and attack on the weak, I had an aha moment: you and I are both simultaneously the monster and the attacked.

Landon had asked me if that was why he attacks people/things (which he doesn’t do a lot), while I was pondering if this was a legit explanation for the seemingly unwarranted “attacks” I have experienced in the workplace.

That jarred me – and made me recognize my own personal offensive attacks against those who are weak. Let’s not pretend I’m not a professional at judging people who share their weaknesses on Facebook publicly. You and I can be real together.

Some of us spend more time in the openly wounded camp, but it’s equally part of the human condition to innately want to attack those who are weaker than us. An evolutionary survival mechanism, if you will.

At first you might think, “Well then it’s settled. I’ll never expose my weakness (my underbelly) again!” Because generally none of you consciously/ actively seek out being preyed upon

But here’s more, and it’s cliche and entirely applicable to all of the human experience:

Without the vulnerability, you are incapable of feeling powerful.

Without the hurt, it is impossible to know the distinct feeling of being healed. (Which is arguably quite different from the pre-hurt feeling of peace- both stronger and more empowered.)

It is the detached and hurt parts of a person that attack others because it doesn’t want to be reminded of the pains it has experienced.

Every one of you is both the detached monster and the vulnerable.

And tempting as it may be, you must become comfortable expressing the weakness and hurt because without it, you are not capable of your personal human experience. With the hurt, you become vulnerable not just to that which hurts you, but also to those who are hurt. And that vulnerability is critical to who you are.

So tell me, did this resonate for you?

Are you more of the monster or the victim today?

And how will knowing the difference change how you live through the day?

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2 Comments

  1. Having the experience of “not wanting to be a monster” when setting a boundary with a neighbor whose bass is just penetrating my World that I put my own needs second. I was “afraid” of being a monster or a victim! And, in the process, I was a monster to my own needs. Oops. It is not like I want to feel nauseous from the bass. I’d prefer “thicker skin.” How have I’ve been more concerned about this person’s freedom to enjoy their lives that my own peace? Not so since I have fully accepted my “weakness” is acceptable, even a strength under different circumstances. An argument for only being around people that match or raise your vibe! Right?

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