There’s a disconnect.

Somewhere between “writing only the positive” things, and recoiling from seeing the vitriol from people I love, I think I presented the wrong impression. It’s so hard BEing the influence you hope to be.

I look back on what I post and see almost exclusively peace and positivity.

It’s not because I only show the highlight reel. It’s because I know when I wish to speak and when I wish to remain silent.

Keeping my mouth shut in times of anguish might be something you’d like to critique me for, but don’t.

I value peace above all else. Above the dramas of our day, above our friendships, above the rights of others. Selfish? Sure. But there is no one more suited than me to take care of my own mental well being. No one has my interests as well in hand as I do.

That’s like putting my oxygen mask on myself first.

I’ve taken numerous personality tests and rank nearly zero on scores of altruism. It’s not something I’m ashamed of – the world needs all kinds of people.

Does that mean I don’t create a loving, safe space for people of all experiences? Tell me… if you think that’s true of me. If you actually *know* me: is that true? We have a pervasive belief in our present culture that cliches and “commonly held” “new social norms” are the only RIGHT way to be. As it turns out, that kind of moralistic judgment of social “goodness” is the exact easy way to divide us.

How about instead of being so quickly willing to speak out about what we think is wrong today, we make an effort to look inside and heal those hurts that make us viscious? How about learning to recognize the value in thinking in different veins? How about recognizing that every person carries their own interpretation of experiences and that you calling them out for presenting as “the wrong way” doesn’t heal a divide, it rips the sutures out?

Every one of us has the opportunity to heal the schisms we’re seeing more evidently than ever because of social media. I challenge you to put that oxygen mask on first- to see the shadow parts of your own soul. To draw those parts of you in, without shame, without remorse, and to heal that shit so it stops bleeding out all over everyone you know.

Then, and I think, only then, you will see that there’s not just “right” or “wrong,” and instead a whole world of possibility for okay-ness.

As for me… I’m going to hang out over here, fiercely protecting my mental well being. I’m going to continue to take the middle road. Continue to see the beauty in the anguish and continue to heal those wounds that come up when I recognize where I’m not free.

I hope you also find peace.

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