Is being vulnerable online the key to encouraging people to know, like, and trust you?
<<< let’s back up a little >>>
One of the things I’ve discovered about becoming internet famous is getting in front of an audience and then raising your freak flag. Those who aren’t in alignment will turn away from you.
Those who are in alignment will fly at you, inhaling your scent and begging to touch your socks.
I mean, that’s the basic key.
But you have to be someone they can relate with. Someone they are willing to get to know, begin to like, and ultimately eventually trust you.
And does it defeat the purpose to become vulnerable in front of your audience?
One camp will tell you not to be at risk in front of the people you’re supposed to be in a position of authority to.
The other will say that without some measure of vulnerability, there is no true likability.
We become intimate and connected with each other strictly BY showing our bellies.
Which camp do you fall in?
#showmeyourbelly vs. #takenoprisoners
For eons, I’ve been a #takenoprisoners sort of gal.
Meaning, I tend to avoid sharing my weak spots because even though vulnerability leads to intimacy, I’m so afraid of coming across as weak that I’ll act tough and untouchable just for the sake of NOT being on the same level as others. It’s a defense mechanism.
And in the old school ways, that stance is actually pretty darn useful. You need to position yourself in a way that does elevate your authority in order to come across as a teacher or a leader.
Yet it’s a millennial’s buyer’s market.
And the overwhelming majority of the western culture are DEMANDING of some authenticity.
(Millennials as a generation demand for realness, and vulnerability is real… it’s a changing marketplace.)
Gods this waffling between being all-powerful, omnipotent, and all-knowing vs being a “real life boy now” is so hard. When you are open like that, you WILL be hurt by others. You WILL have people who go for your blood. That’s just how it is.
I’m not being a pessimist here. Just being real. #realboynow
And sometimes going into the game knowing that you’re gonna have some broken fingers (but you’re also gonna come out with some raving fans who have nothing but love and defense of you to speak of)… well I guess it’s up to you to decide whether or not that’s worth it.
But will something bad happen if you never open it up to your peeps?
Like will they get bored and walk away from you?
Maybe not. I mean, there are some celebrities who hold their fans at an arm’s length. But look at how the general public views those celebs who respond to tweets…
It’s a pretty different feeling and I’d venture to say there’s a bit more loyalty for those who take some time to tip their hat to their people.
I guess you have a choice in how you’re positioning yourself. Still I strongly advise you to put some serious thought into how you come across, regardless of whether or not you crack open your ribcage to show your beating heart.
You can be vulnerable – but be aware of it. Do it intentionally and with purposeful thought behind every single ounce of realness.
Oh, and you don’t have to share 100% of your weakness. If something bad is happening, wait until after you’ve found the lesson. It doesn’t have to be a pity party.
You’re allowed your experience, privately. And when you’ve come through the other side, that’s when you get to share what you learned.
Of course, everything I say could be horseshit.
But, maybe not. Just thought I’d tell you what I’ve learned. You know, since becoming internet famous.