I don’t want my blog to be a place where I just come and rant and rave and…
Today started off as a little trigger-y though.
Sometimes things don’t go exactly how they really ought to and whomever is pulling the strings in this simulation is really starting to piss me off because it could be so simple to just have things be what they’re supposed to be.
Okay. So this girl I know through Facebook <name removed to protect privacy> posted about how strange it is to be a non-drinker within the traveling community she is in.
And then later in the thread she made a comment that sounded exasperated over people trying to guilt or pressure her into drinking.
Like, how much less reverence can you have for a person
than to not respect a simple no when you offer them a beer?
Aside from cheating on a beloved, I can’t think of anything more irreverent.
Look, if someone says they don’t want a drink, whether they repeatedly don’t want it or if they just temporarily Right This Minute don’t want to drink, you sure as hell better leave them alone about it.
Ummm. Hello, has anyone ever heard of alcoholism before?
Or perhaps we could take it in a less extreme form and call designated driving a legitimate “thing.”
As a young person (yeah, I was one of those once!), it used to get my panties in a great big ole’ knot over the following scenario:
Me: “no thanks.”
Them: “aw, come on”
Them: “you know you wanna”
Them: “we’re all doing it tho”
Them: “it’s not that big of a deal”
Me: “I will cut a bitch.”
Let’s chat a bit about consent, shall we, cupcake?
First, may all humans recognize that “No” is a complete sentence.
No doesn’t need a “thanks” (though it’s nice if it does) and it doesn’t need an excuse or have to be followed with a why.
No stands alone and doesn’t need to be explained, it just is what it is and when you hear it (you will), you just pause, retreat, or simply nod your head in acquiescence.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your child saying, “no” they don’t want to share their toy or your neighbor declining to watch your dogs while you’re gone for the 8th vacation this year. You might hear it from someone who doesn’t want a beer you just cracked open, and you might hear it from a person you just asked out on a date.
Really it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, unless we’re discussing nutrition with a toddler (which by the way if you don’t feed a baby sugar you won’t struggle to get them to eat their mashed broccoli, just saying), “no” is a perfectly good response to basically any question you have. And you might be disappointed to hear it. It might hurt your feelings and it might even break your heart.
<<< believe me when I say I’ve been broken, too >>>
That’s just what it is. People are allowed to say no. And you’re gonna have to just fucking deal with it.
Lastly, if you’re one of the sloptarts trying to convince your friend to drink after they’ve declined, you’re an asshole. Stop it.
Alcohol is a significantly addictive drug and people die from it. Respect the no. Honor the no. Ask your friend if it makes them uncomfortable for you to even bring up the word WINE while you’re together.
And if you’re really their friend, and they say, “Actually, it’s really hard to make this kind of choice but I’m going to die if I don’t,” then you slap your hand on their shoulder and tell them how proud you are for them making a big decision like that.
I swear some people know none of the things.