Did you ever start a new thing and then realize that you don’t know how you lived all those previous years without it? That’s what it was like for me to start meditating.
A friend messaged me the other day to see if I would be interested in joining her for a 21 Day Abundance Meditation Challenge that she was doing. Normally I don’t take on new commitments, yet I was compelled. My mister (LP) recently had started meditating and he was having some otherworldly experiences – so why not try out my own non-committal, brief practice of it for 3 weeks?
Nothing bad could come from it besides not doing it… and maybe I would do it and remember what it was like to still my mind (and enjoy it again).
See, as a young child, I learned to meditate by listening to audio cassette tapes. Back then it helped me stay grounded when I felt like my environment was chaos. I could quiet my mind and, at the time, I used it to connect deeply with Jesus. It brought an intense sensation of safety to me – especially when I opened my eyes and could see the dude in the mirror next to me.
Of course as a grown up, I had no expectations of such apparitions, and that’s to say that at no point so far did I see any gods beyond me. I do have a different set of expectations now. 🙂
These meditations were led by endocrinologist and spiritual teacher, Deepak Chopra. I’ve always loved listening to his voice – and we’re all lucky enough to have him read his own audiobooks for us. Which means I’ve listened to his voice a LOT in the past. So even just to start the races, I felt a connection and like I was coming home, so to speak.
The first several days of meditating were super simple for me. I unplugged my mind, followed the course of my breathe, and allowed the tiny fire-breathing dragon in the end of my nose to do what it does best, which is to breathe.
And like all things that I start out, I was really excellent at it at first. No intruding thoughts, no wandering monkey mind, just pure and lovely meditation. Empty mind. Relaxed body. Happy results. Bragging rights for when I casually chatted about it with LP.
And then day 3 happened, and suddenly I couldn’t “get there.”
I had to constantly remind myself that day that meditation wasn’t about passing or failing, but about redirecting and continuing the process. It’s about not getting up or throwing in the towel when it was far easier just to write that day’s tasks off than to continue.
Which led to Day 4, where I suddenly felt it “actually turn on inside of me.”
The closest way I can describe it is getting into a barely lit up water slide filled with a golden yellow mist. (Kinda like this.) I don’t actually feel my body moving, but the images pass by just as though I am spiraling deeper and deeper into my mind. But it’s not really my mind – rather, my higher knowing. Some might call it the unconscious, others call it the Akashic Records, and others your higher self (your god-parts). When I start to drop in, there are generally flashes of golden color and the neon purple that you’d see in a plasma ball. Kinda like this:
And as I drop in and see these visual cues, I grow farther away from the awareness of my body, space, or time. As things stream past me, I catch flashes of people and places. No words around them. Just the ability to know who they are or understand what I’m seeing. Nothing has any measure of emotion to it. Complete neutrality.
Some days, I couldn’t “get there” at all. I would watch my reaction, and acknowledge that THIS is why they call it a practice.
And that patience – that neutrality I’ve discovered – spills over into my daily life – the time I spend on everything else beyond meditation.
Notably, I’ve caught my ego trying to instigate emotional reactions to things inside of my head.
It’s different now – though maybe it’s not just meditation (could also be somewhat due to the most recent shamanic retreat I experienced). However, maybe the meditation is having a significant impact. Speaking of the retreat, I did pause the practice for a handful of days in the middle of the challenge. Oopsie. But. The greatest reaction I discovered from this process has been to see just exactly how intensely self-loving it has felt to return to my normal daily practice of exercise, reading, and meditation.
…Which leads me to believe that even though the Challenge is over now, I will continue with meditation as a part of my normal morning practice. I’ve continued to meditate daily, even though the challenge ended several days ago.
After we have both finished our own separate practices, I greet my lover every morning feeling a great joy on my face. I’ve been on an adventure that I can’t even describe in words – and I want to hear about his adventure, too. What did we learn today? What are the things we want to teach each other?
And so… I’m glad I took the steps to play along with my friend in her 21 Day Challenge. I think I remembered who I am in this. And the extra Abundance I created in it doesn’t hurt, either. (Two name a few: $250 investment account I didn’t know about, $300 incentive to open an account.)
If you’ve been looking into starting meditating, or if you’ve been doing it daily for a long time now, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. What have you learned? Where did it take you? Also, consider liking my Facebook Page and subscribing to this blog so you receive updates when I publish the next blog post (top right corner of this blog).