Are you fucking imperfect?

Like do you say things so you don’t explode and then wonder if maybe you should have kept your big fat mouth shut?

Unabashedly hand out guilt trips like candy on Halloween?

Are there times when you behave in ways just to get even – or just so someone else can feel the pain that you feel?

Do you judge people because somewhere deep down it makes you feel better about yourself?

Or does admitting any of that sound like something that would put the final nails in the coffin of your “try to be a good person plan”?

+++

Guess what. You might actually be none of ^^^ that shit.

Which means you’re perfect and you may as well skip reading the rest of this blog post.

This blog isn’t for those who are perfect. Walk away now.

Walk away.

+++

Great, now for the rest of us heathens…

I don’t think that being imperfect makes you any less of a “good person.”

In fact, if you were raised in a community like I was, where the “laws of good personness” were spelled out like the 10 commandments — oh wait, maybe they were the 10 Commandments.

o.O

— and if you were one of those folks who really just wanted to do & be good so that you felt like you were worthy of something…

A lot of times we skipped hearing the part about how we are okay just as we are.

Even with all those flaws and nastiness and bitterness and anger.

Like, those things are actually fine. Seriously. You’re fine. It’s all good.

that’ll be $135. make your checks payable to “Ash Tuesday Porter” and we’ll see you next week.

Just kidding.

Anyway, I’m trying to get at a point here, gorillas.

+++

You. Are. Enough.

And you’re not perfect. Those things you do that you wish you didn’t – that’s part of you. And you don’t need to be ashamed of it. It’s your shadow side.

I’m not saying you should go out and rob graves now. Just that compartmentalising to the point where we exclude things we do that aren’t good for us (and everyone else) forces us to self-segment and leads to a lot of guilt and other sucky feelings… which prevent us from growing into our greatest good.

(Yes, I’m gonna get all optimistic here!)

See.

Instead of feeling guilty over the shit you do that kinda sucks, brush it off, tell that part of yourself, “I see you,” and try to be better next time.

It’s like quitting all bad habits.

You eventually get to practicing being alright with who and what you are. All of you.

+++

Being okay doesn’t mean you stop trying to be better, though.

It doesn’t mean you whip out a Jerry Springer episode every opportunity you get (because who doesn’t love a little chair throwing drama).

It does mean, however, that you stop beating yourself up every time you say or do something that maybe you should have considered for longer than 4.8 seconds before hitting send.

Because there’s a case for emotional communication, too.

+++

Being okay with your darker shadow side means saying, “Yes sir, can I have some more,” when you’re given the opportunity to learn and grow.

It means accepting the beatings as part of the path you have to walk in order to be the person you’re becoming. It’s not regretting the things you said. It’s acknowledging that you’re worthy of forgiveness, too.

+++

And aho! What’s that I hear in the grumblings? That if you’re positioning yourself you probably ought to always put your best foot forward?

Well, I mean, yeah. That’s pretty good advice. But did you read the post I wrote about vulnerability?  Here’s the thing. It doesn’t serve you to be 100% perfect to your people. They don’t want to hear that. They want some retrospective acknowledgement that you realize you’re not perfect – and that you’re okay with taking the knocks when you make a bad decision.

Of course, I said retrospective. You don’t have to go around knocking down mailboxes on YouTube live. You can make a choice and then later on discuss its impact.

 

Tags:

2 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *